hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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