I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
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She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
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I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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