Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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