Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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