you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
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