I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize