God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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