I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Semen is not good for contacts.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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