from now on my penis is your penis
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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