R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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