Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize