So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize