Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
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Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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