Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it http://tfl.nu/4cmd
  Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did. http://tfl.nu/lrh7
  Replies (10) Good night (576) Bad night (1366) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off (617): he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich. http://tfl.nu/ubgv
  Replies (28) Good night (2616) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza http://tfl.nu/fivz
  Replies (53) Good night (26162) Bad night (1819)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Dont! You were just serving you country

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now... (404): Dont! You were just serving you country http://tfl.nu/lcsl
  Replies (71) Good night (6647) Bad night (2263)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS. http://tfl.nu/a3c7
  Replies (28) Good night (2297) Bad night (2837) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates http://tfl.nu/oxez
  Replies (12) Good night (7059) Bad night (996) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob http://tfl.nu/ha8t
  Replies (9) Good night (2762) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on http://tfl.nu/zwxm
  Replies (4) Good night (2949) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry. http://tfl.nu/rf2y
  Replies (7) Good night (1412) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (343): View more from Ontario

  Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (343): Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen? http://tfl.nu/nxy5
  Replies (14) Good night (636) Bad night (2374) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award. http://tfl.nu/qxv7
  Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (1401)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world. http://tfl.nu/vb5k
  Replies (4) Good night (994) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause. http://tfl.nu/76t1
  Replies (3) Good night (1215) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first http://tfl.nu/80vm
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt

Randomize