His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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