I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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