real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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