You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize