If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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