i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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