My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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