i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize