why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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