omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize