I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
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Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
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I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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