Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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