i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
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Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
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I just want to make out with him forever
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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