Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
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Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
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Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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