dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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