So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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