Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
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Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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