i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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