i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize