just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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