Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
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can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
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Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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