Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
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Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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