Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My life is pants optional.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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