I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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