she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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