I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize