how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize