Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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