been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
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I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
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Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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