i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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