there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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