Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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