The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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