I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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