Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We left an ass print on the piano.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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