well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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